Spying parents should try talking instead

Spying parents should try talking instead – South China Morning Post

Youth drug use is undeniably a growing problem. Police statistics and surveys point squarely to the trend. But spying on our children and randomly testing them at school are not solutions. However well intentioned, such actions will, in all likelihood, erode trust and irrevocably harm relationship.

Drugs are easily available and inexpensive. Curiosity and peer pressure turn our children to them. The best way to combat this scourge is education and better policing, not keyhole video cameras and in-school checks.

Our leaders and some parents seem to think otherwise. Chief Executive Donald Tsang Yam-kuen’s order of random tests in Tai Po high schools outwardly aims to get to the heart of the problem. Yet there is scant evidence from where such schemes have been tried elsewhere that they lead to less drug use. Energies are spent instead on seeking out ways of avoiding detection and harm parental and school ties. Politics, more than eradicating drugs, is most likely Tsang’s motive. Aimed rising discontent with his government and government style, he is trying to generate successes. But the Tai Po testing, which starts next month, will likely have little real effect. It may turn up a handful of users, but it will not stop the wider recreational abuse of commonly used drugs such as Ecstasy and ketamine.

On the back of concerns about drugs, private detective agencies are increasingly advertising their services. They are reporting growing business from parents. Suspicions are confirmed with miniature cameras and by shadowing children. But here too-no matter what their success rate-such a method of detection has to be considered as a last, desperate, resort.

There may be times when we need to spy on our children. Calling on investigators may be necessary if a suspected life-threatening situation evolves. We have to bear in mind, though, that such a measure could have a high chance of forever damaging relations with our children. There are other steps that should first be considered.

Counseling and therapy are options. Being watchful for signs of unusual behavior is crucial. But the simplest and most useful method-and one too often overlooked by parents, schools and, it would seem, Tsang-is communication. We can best know our children by talking to them. With time and effort from when they are young, a rapport and friendship can be built. This paves the way for open, transparent discussion and, critically, trusts. Decisions can then be made with firmness and authority.

Parenting is a difficult job. It is especially so in Hong Kong, where parents work long hours and get few holidays. Children spend more time by themselves than they should. Teachers and maids are too often by default given the job of child-raising.

But problems between parents and their children cannot be outsourced. Doing so, in the case of drugs, only drives a wedge between students and their parents and teachers. If the problem of teenage drug abuse is to be lessened, authorities would do better to provide more funding for education program and policing. Most of all, though, parents have to find the time to build sound relationships with their children.

2. Summary

The random drug testing among students in Tai Po is one of the policies that Donald Tsang introduced for preventing the continued worsening problem of drug abuse. Yet there is scant evidence to show us that it is useful to reduce the number of taking drugs. And there is a big likelihood that ruins the relationship between students, parents and teachers. Actually, the best method to combat the scourge is education and better policing. For parents, being watchful to their children is crucial. Often talking with their children can build a rapport easily that paves the way for open and transparent discussion.

3. Feedback

Undeniably, drug abuse has been a social problem which concerns many people in Hong Kong. Most parents are worried their children very much at the same time because they have to work long hours and spend little time with their children. In fact, no matter how busy the parents are, they should take some time with their kids. Interaction and communication are necessary in parenting. If they can spend more time chatting with theirs, build a rapport and friendship, it must be better than spying on them or asking help of so-called random testing. Parents’ love and care can be correctly expressed to their children as well as the positive result can be received more efficiently and easily.